Life and Random Thinking

Rediscovering Joy: Cherishing Friends and Laughter

Posted on July 5, 2025 by dfolstad58

Dear Friends, Thank you for visiting and forgiving me my long absence. I am grateful to you for your blogs and comments as visit this way.

First a fast update:

This spring and summer has been a warm one and my cherry tree was ready earlier than usual. We were able to pick the tree when the cherries were really dark red/black and juicy. It’s been fun to enjoy them, give some away and can some for treats when days are long and furnace is on.

Where have I been?

My son and I did a fun road trip to Castlegar, Nelson, Greenwood and area a few weeks ago. We had a house on the river in Castlegar so we could have a bonfire and watch the swallows swooping over the river. There were herons also and it was a fun spot. I think a separate blog for this trip will be forthcoming.

Have you ever visited this area called the Kootenays?

Today’s Post

Laughter and Friends – we love them both!

Your lives no doubt have faced some days which were hard, we call them challenging time but they are more than that. Sometimes those days you might have felt weighed down, lacking energy and maybe just want to sleep to avoid reality.

Laughter is an underestimated force, will you agree?

When enduring months at Vancouver General Hospital (VGH) I was fortunate to have family and friends who would come visit and help me to laugh. One friend who travelled from Langley, sneaking in Chinese food after visiting hours!

Our visits were filled with laughter, even during very tiring times.

Laughter with my friend, who brought it with him, always raised my spirits, and allowed me to put the day behind me.

Have you ever have your day turn around because a friend made you smile? or laugh?

Laughter releases endorphins and heartwarming laugh with friends has always been easier for than chasing those same endorphins with running, and without having to put on shoes!

Laughter has other health benefits; boosts immunity system, lowers stress hormones and gets rid of facial wrinkles (let’s hope that’s true).

I think the benefits of laughter are known to us all.

We know it makes us feel good.

We feel it physically when we laugh that laughter is healthy for us.

We miss it when laughter is missing from our lives.

Our day, our physical and mental self can be revived, has been revived by laughter.

That leads me to my final point; those people in our lives that bring us laughter.

Protect them, cherish them, keep them close – they are part of keeping you healthy.

Those sweeties with the tinkle in their eye, those best friends that understand us like no one else. That one person that makes you smile just by thinking of them. ♥

Stay in touch with them, as we get older sometimes it happens that we lose contact with friends that really are special.

Those laughter bringers could family members, friends, colleagues, or even pets.

They could be storytellers, or witty but somehow laughter is infectious as part of them being them with you.

Avoid the regret of lost contact with the friends who bring you the best health supplement of all – laughter.

My grandpa Ed Folstad had a wonderful chuckle and laugh. He’s gone but he loved to tell stories and when he did with me his eyes twinkled, his belly bounced and his voice chuckled.

I remember bottle feeding lambs at his farm and him chuckling while he milked the cow and squirted the cat with milk!

Please say hello in the comments – talk to you soon. hugs, David

Posted in Thinking Out loud | Tagged friends, health, Humor, Laughter, life, mental health, regret | 17 Comments

Today a Guest Post – A Piece of Paper won’t stop a thief

Posted on April 29, 2025 by dfolstad58

Hello friend, just a short intro and a link today to a blogging friend’s important post called ” Give up Crimea? How about Florida? Alaska?

I read this post today and it was a compelling read about how Russia’s attack on Crimea and it was a broken agreement that limited the Ukraine’s ability to defend itself.

An agreement that the USA promised to support.

It also illustrates the actions of the USA (under the Trump Administration) right now to also break agreements and ignore law.

But Canadians are well aware of that right now.

It must pain so many Americans and people around the world who have seen America in the past as a country that was a nation of laws and fair beliefs.

Please click now and read my friend’s post –

https://robbyrobinsjourney.wordpress.com/2025/04/29/give-up-crimea-how-about-florida-or-alaska/

It’s a spring day, and best wishes to all. ♥ Dave

Posted in guest blog posts | Tagged amputation, bullying, crimea, gross, paper, Russia, Trump administration, war | 4 Comments

Darkness into Light

Posted on April 28, 2025 by dfolstad58

Dear friends of my blog, I have been thinking for a few days about a post to honor the donor of my kidney transplant six years ago.

The timing of this post is because his surgery was April 23, 2019 and mine was the next day on April 24, 2019 – as you can see we just celebrated our 6th anniversary of our separate surgeries.

I have been struggling with finding the words for his selfless act. For each of us the reasons we were there in our hospital rooms were different, and our reasons for undergoing surgeries were different as well.

I was there because my previous transplant had failed. I was very sick but surviving because of dialysis. I reached out for someone to donate. It felt like I had shouted out my need but the silence was deafening in response.

I was on hemodialysis three days a week, a very restricted diet, 5 hour cycles on the machine and days away from death if not for the sustainment via dialysis. I needed help and there is no let-up for a dialysis patients, I went for treatment even on Christmas morning for example.

As you can see I walked in the shadows of death in a sense but also with light at the end of a tunnel if I received a transplant. But the “if” of receiving a transplant is important to highlight. There was light at the end of the tunnel if someone made it happen. Light being very important symbol here.

Then my friend brought the light with him. He offered an amazing gift, that he didn’t need to give. He was already my friend for life. But after much thought and discussions with his family, he wanted to help even at the cost of unnecessary surgery for himself.

My donor friend was healthy, and strong. He needn’t have been in that hospital room and he sacrificed to be lying on that slim board in the cold surgery room. He went to multiple appointments, travelled thousands of miles and it took effort to be a donor and committment. He didn’t need to be there and he didn’t do for reward.

He did it because he could offer me health and, I feel, light. Light representing life, and future.

What bigger gift? He sent away the shadows, he gave me a future, and freedom. A future that came from a compassion built on his courage to give an amazing gift.

A donor gives not just an organ, but a future: birthdays that can be celebrated, dreams that can be chased, families that can stay whole. They give a piece of themselves, sometimes literally, to heal someone else. It is the ultimate sacrifice: offering part of your body, your health, your very being, so that another person can live.

This kind of gift doesn’t come with medals or headlines. It’s a humble, sacred act — one that continues to give, day after day, year after year. Every breath a recipient takes, every milestone they reach, every memory they create — all of it is tied back to the moment when a hero chose to say, “Yes, take this gift, and live.”

I was reading about Thomas Edison and it became clear to me the blog I wanted to share.

When Thomas Edison set out to invent the electric light, it was an unknown and not a version of something that already existed. He had a vision of homes and streets light up safely and steadily with a new kind of light. It took a faith that such a light could be found, that it existed – to unfold a future that existed in a whole new light.

My friend also acted in an act of faith envisioning for me a future that was there to unfold and develop for years to come and in a multitude of ways that neither he or I could imagine.

Simarly Edison left a legacy of light bulbs that dispersed darkness, lighting up homes, and hospitals because he was willing to work and find a solution.

My amazing friend, is an inspiring person who acted in faith taking action to allow light into my life, and dispersed darkness and shadows of an uncertain future. He strove to make it happen and it was not a painless process but he persisted and here we are today, six years later. He is well and and I have two grandchildren I might not have met, hugged or loved if not for his gift.

I could have missed it all.

I feel that my ability to be able to enjoy and create memories for these past last six years is part of his legacy that he created by his gift.

My friend hopes that others will be brave and be donors also because the need is huge.

3,427 Canadians were waiting for a solid organ transplant as of December 31, 2023. Of these, 71% were waiting for a kidney, 14% for a liver, 5% for a lung, 3% for a heart, 3% for a pancreas and 3% for a combination of organs.

There are many others now on dialysis who are on the waiting list for a donor. Investigation is the first step to find out if it’s right for you.

Living Kidney Donation – link here to learn more

Happy sixth transplant anniversary to both of us.

“Being an organ donor is one of the purest forms of heroism — it’s choosing to save or transform lives, often without ever seeing the impact firsthand.

It’s a quiet, selfless act that creates ripples of hope and second chances in ways the donor might never fully know.

True heroism isn’t about recognition; it’s about compassion, courage, and making a difference because it’s simply the right thing to do.”

Thank you for reading, I hope in your comments you will gift me with your reactions to this post. Talk to you soon.

David

♥Please read the circumstances of my third transplant by clicking My Third Transplant – Miracles Happen

I love this Two Percent story and share it often with renal patients in Penticton.

Posted in family, health, Just being creative | Tagged anniversary, donor, Edison, future, Gift, health, Kidney, kidney transplant, light, light bulb, memories, Organ donation, organ transplant, six, Transplant | 31 Comments

Invisible or Heard?

Posted on April 21, 2025 by dfolstad58

Greetings in the warmest possible way to you today. Thank you for arriving to read this post and double thanks to those who gift me with their thoughts in a comment at the bottom of the post. Sincerely I mean that.

Anyone who had taught someone else knows that it means you need to learn that “thing” ever better in order to teach someone.

In the same vein, in order for me to give a condensed 7.5 minute speech I need to have a fairly good handle on it to condense it down so I can share it in a very brief conversation with an audience. I tried my best on this topic.

Recently that topic was explaining “Diminishers” and Illuminators” as discovered by David Brooks in his book “How to Know a Person“.

I heard him on Youtube and he seemed clever and well-spoken but he described himself as having the “social skills of a head of a cabbage”. He was committed to learn more and he states that is what writers do – learn and share what they learn.

He discovered in the course of researching his book that in society today there large numbers of people who feel unseen and misunderstood.

In his book “How to Know a Person” he identifies that there are two broad categories of humans with respect to human interaction.

You can identify which of them you are interacting with by how they make you feel.

Diminishers, who might be oblivious to how they are acting, and decent people can make others feel insignificant or even invisible.

Illuminators are those people who put a cloud under your feet and you walk away afterwards with a smile inside and out.

♥Illuminators are uplifting, you feel valued in their eyes, they are focused on the other person. They make you feel special, heard, respected, noticed and valued.

David Brooks set out to become an illuminator and help others as well.

I confess I have not finished the book, partly because it is so well written I find myself re-reading portions. If it wasn’t a library book – I would have attacked it with a highlighter by now.

In my recent speech at Toastmasters I shared the behaviors of Diminishers and Illuminators.

Diminishers:

They are quiet, they are seeing you but they aren’t curious. They don’t ask for more detail.
They talk too long and dominate the conversation. They may ask a question but are really quick to return the conversation to themselves. The words of their chat are filled with “I, me, mine, my”.
They are insensitive to what they are told. They neither celebrate, empathize with what they hear you say and don’t ask follow-up questions. They are on their phones! They don’t make eye contact. While “listening” they are watching something else.
Diminishers interrupt which causes speakers to feel disrespected and unheard.

Illuminators

They are conversation cheerleaders, David Brooks calls them Loud Listeners. They are asking questions for more detail, colour? Taste? Yay! Speakers feel the listeners attention. Illuminators are curious.
Illuminators talk, sharing is important for them also but they don’t dominate the conversation. They replace “I, me, mine, my” with “you”. They say things like “I am sure you can relate, or You probably have had a similar experience, or I am interested in your thoughts.
They are acknowledgers. They welcome you standing, and bid you good-bye standing. They wave, and fist bump, they dance up and down are filled with enthusiasm that is sincere and genuine. Even if they are busy, they find a way to wave and acknowledge you when they see you.
Illuminators do not interrupt. They do not reply to what you say but they respond. They respond by echoing or paraphrasing what you said to show they were listening and to ensure they understood.

Now that took nearly seven minutes of my speech to explain the behaviors of each and do my opening and so I had thirty seconds to wrap up.

Which I did with my condensed version of behaviors that I would try to remember to do better in my interactions in the future.

Firstly – wait two seconds before speaking when listening to someone.

Secondly – not reply but echo what I heard to share what I think I heard.

Thirdly – Smile and ask if I got it right?

I think the proverb ‘ Be Slow to speak, and Quick to Listen” is a wise motto.

But David Brooks goal is not to help us become good listeners but instead better conversationalists. He explains that a good conversationalist leads people to a mutual expedition toward understanding so that both participants are uplifted and enriched, (Perhaps being an illuminator is the first step?)

“The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to let someone down without breaking their heart; knowing how to sit with someone who is suffering; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.”
― David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

Thanks for reading, – see you next time♥

I am happy to report the warm weather of Easter opened up the cherry blossoms on my tree and hopefully this is symbolic to all of us having a fruitful spring.

Best wishes truly, Dave

PS – Let me know what you think below. ♥

Posted in reading / books, Thinking Out loud, Uncategorized | Tagged Communication, conversationalists, David Brooks, Diminishers, faith, heard, Illuminators, invisible, life, relationships, sincere, uplifting | 13 Comments

It’s Time for a Review

Posted on April 19, 2025 by dfolstad58

Dear blogging friends, Happy Easter weekend to you! I hope that you are enjoying time with your families walking in the spring sunshine.

Here in the Okanagan valley, spring is evident. Snow is no longer on the caps of the valley around us. The cherries trees are in blossom in the valley and I can’t decide if I like pink or white blossoms more, what a conundrum eh?

Yesterday on my bike ride to the north side of town and Okanagan lake I had a nice surprise. I saw something large dive when I was standing out on the pier that juts out into the lake. It was much larger than a duck and I saw a streak of white.

My son spotted it first when it bobbed to the surface. a beautiful loon. It was black with a white band around it’s neck and at first it was fairly close then it swam/sauntered away before diving and disappearing. It was gone so long that we mounted up to continue our ride along the lake.

No photos of the loon, but as we rounded the corner, the marmots were there looking for a treat. People often drop off carrots for them and you can hand feed them, the carrots, not your fingers.

But I diverted from the theme, Time For a Review – my wife made me delicious blueberry pancakes this morning! She is too busy in the mornings to do that often but today I enjoyed her gift.

We all had blueberry pancakes, maple syrup of course and some were left over! Wahoo! (They could disappear though)

I jokingly told her I was going to go online and give her a review, and here it is: Five Star! The pancakes were generous with blueberries, still hot and had that lovely golden brown I like – they were a nice size also, bigger than silver dollars and smaller than a suitcase. LOL

“Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.” – Thomas Tusser

Reviews seem to be everywhere now and many businesses pester online for reviews for even the smallest transaction.

I mainly do reviews for small businesses that I like such as new restaurants, coffee shops, fruit stands etc. These are family businesses and they genuinely appreciate the support that a positive review brings.

What about negative reviews? If it’s a small business, talk to them directly as they will happily handle any reasonable feedback to help make you a regular customer. No business gets it perfect every time and so I think we should give businesses a second chance before reacting anyway. Most of negative reviews I read reflect badly on the people who wrote them and not on the business I think.

What about our review? How many stars would my wife and family give me? Fortunately they indulge my foibles and blunders and haven’t installed an ejection seat in the car.

Signing off now with pics of the baskets I made for Easter and thank you bunny much for reading today.

hugs, David♥

Posted in Just being creative, okanagan related, Thinking Out loud | Tagged Easter, Lake, loon, marmot, Okanagan, pancakes, review, Spring | 26 Comments

Give your head a Shake

Posted on March 23, 2025 by dfolstad58

Thank you friends who swing by to read my post – I appreciate you.

When I write a post and receive your feedback it encourages me to write again. ♥

What kind of title is this one today? Give your head a shake is just how I am feeling about the portion of the USA population that thinks Canadians should feel “complimented” regarding the whole 51st state issue.

Sorry to disillusion those people but Canadians are very, I would say “extremely” proud to be Canadian and have no desire to change.

I feel insulted by the whole attitude of those Trump Supporters, and I wonder if the education system exists “at all” below the 49th parallel!

Certainly there seems to me a lack of appreciation or knowledge for any understanding of the rest of the world or history. Perhaps insensitivity?

Canadians are united in their frustration and disappointment in how our country is being treated. I am appalled that Americans swallow and believe the untruths about Canada from DJT. I think most Canadians find it unbelievable that so many people can believe what he says.

A remark from the White House spokesperson said France would be speaking German if it wasn’t for the United States. Whoo boy! I am sure comment that flew like lead duck in the news in Paris! So much disrespect for France, and the Allies who fought for years, YEARS! before the USA joined WW2 and the same situation in WW1.

The people who know their history and who stuck up for them right from the beginning are in Europe and they love Canadians.

***********************************************************************

Certainly I know there are millions of Americans right now who feel Canadians are justified in feeling “pissed off” at the USA – thank you!

But I digress here and my rant stops now.

Yesterday it was beautiful early spring day here in the Okanagan valley and I walked along Skaha Lake with my son. The lake was calm and I am so glad to live a kilometre from a lake.

We noticed people looking up in a shoreline tree and two immense adult bald eagles were in the tree, at the top and about a foot apart. Nature is amazing.

My heart goes out to the people in the United States who have done everything right and by the book and yet are feeling threatened. I am speaking about the immigrants who hold jobs, own homes and contribute to their communities but because of racism are scared.

I hope the insanity stops soon. I feel like a friendship that has developed a fracture, a teacup dropped and shattered that cannot be mended.